Upgrading

Sorry I'm a day late because of Labor day. Also, yesterday was crazy.

Brent and I originally tried to get into a group of duplexes when we first moved out to California. They are cheap and have other LDS chiropractic students living there. Unfortunately, it's a hot commodity and we didn't get in. We were blessed to find another apartment that was barely in our price range (but still there) and have loved living there. It was close to the school and we made so many wonderful friends there. It was a one bedroom, however, and we had smoking neighbors that drove me insane. If there is one thing that bugs me more than anything, even loud hispanic music, it's cigarette smoke.

Well, the Lord was watching out for us because he helped Brent become friends with a student who was graduating soon and lived in those first duplexes. We had an in! So last week we packed up everything and left our home of the last year. It was so hard to leave the area and most of all our friends. It has been the greatest comfort to me to be able to walk 50 feet from our apartment and run into my best friends.

Moving was also hard because Brent is in school. He took the day off and we moved everything. Unfortunately, Isaac decided that was the day he'd start teething and turned from a calm, chill baby into a needy monster who doesn't sleep. Luckily, he let me set him down enough that some boxes got packed.

Brent drove the moving truck over, and I took Isaac and the car to our new apartment. On the way I felt myself loosing my cool. Maybe it was because we'd spent an exhausting day packing and taking care of screaming Isaac, but I was very emotional. I felt tears forcing their way up as I turned down our new street. This wasn't home. This place was so foreign and how would I ever survive here without all my friends?

That emotional low has continued as we have been forced to unpack and try to put our life together at home while Brent is extremely busy with school since his big board exams are FRIDAY. This is my view of him all night long when he comes come:

I have been so exhausted I've barely known how to put my next foot forward as I stumble around trying to set up closets and put together a kitchen while holding a screaming baby whose teeth hurt him so much.

Thank heaven for weekends when husbands can be home and work can be accomplished. Yesterday, for the first time, our house started turning into a home. I got exited when I looked into Isaac's new bedroom. My heart melted when Brent helped Isaac go out and pick a petal from our rose bush and come give it to me (it was slightly wet for some reason...) I got little flutters of giddiness when Brent and I planned out how to set up our backyard into a garden. Goodbye patio stones!

And I realized, you know what? This place is BETTER. For so many reasons. This is so much more like a home than an apartment. I love only having one neighbor. I love that we have a yard and across the way two old ladies always sit out on their porch and they like to coo at Isaac when we go on walks and give me fans because it is too hot. I'm reminded of a quote by President Eyring, "If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill." Though that applies to choosing the right in your life, I also feel like it applies to where you're going. This home was a blessing for us, in so many more ways than saving money! But it was hard to get here. It almost broke me during the process. But now I get to reap the rewards, and they are wonderful.

Brent and I deemed this spot "Doneva's spot" because it is always in the sun. His mother loves the sunshine. 

Mommy Battles

Many people have asked me if Motherhood is easier or harder than I thought it would be. My answer always seems to surprise people; "Easier". But that one word answer doesn't really do my meaning justice. See, I've had a lot of experience with children. From babysitting, family and nannying to my career, I have been knee deep in children. So I knew that being a mom would be a lot of work.
When I was pregnant, I found myself liking the kids, but very dissatisfied with the task. I was bored for one thing. So I figured being a mom would be similar and I despaired about what I was getting myself into. It turns out that it is completly different with your own child. So all the amount of work is still there, doubled by 24/7 attention to this little child. But it is easier because I am so in love with my baby. I love to do the work, which always makes things, 'easier'.

These past few weeks I have met my match with what I have to give up to be a good mom. Isaac has struggled with his bowel movements since day one. However, I was ignorant of how much he struggled until recently because I thought it was normal! Here is my first child, with no prior knoweldge, so I figured everything was normal. However, several strong warning signs woke me up to the danger. I did some research and also went to his doctor and we were able to figure out the culprit. Dairy. And soy. And eggs. and wheat. Possibly all or just some of them.

So I took everything out of my diet! Luckily, dinners at our household are always meat and vegetable based anyways, so there hasn't been a big change there. But lunches and breakfasts are hard! I finally found a great lunch, thanks to my sister-in-law.

Spicy sausage with Zucchini Noodles

I've seen such a huge improvement though, it is amazing. We've gone from 15 diapers a day to 6, it's amazing.

We just signed the contract of our new apartment, and I'll be blogging next week about the move! Isaac woke up sick yesterday and is miserable, so we will see how fun this week will be with me packing and holding him at the same time.

6 Months of Review

I have decided to focus more on my blog and less on social media lately. Because of this, I will be posting on my blog at least every Monday. Because so much is happening right now, I might post more often than that to keep track of everything.

The last six months have flown by so quickly. It must be the sleep deprivation, but I don't remember half of it. So here is the bits I do remember (or that I was wise enough to write down).

We had a baby! If you are not currently aware of this, then you are probably on the wrong blog and don't know me. We had my mom here for three weeks, and she was a huge help! It is so fun to have family come visit us. We love showing off the nice weather, amazing farmer's markets, beaches, and our child.

He has grown so much that I barely recognize the newborn pictures of him. Want to know a secret?  I look at them and go, hmmmm, he wasn't that cute, but at the time I was obsessed with him. I feel like no mom ever admits that. Don't get me wrong, I still think he's the most amazing child in the world. Here is the countdown:

He's turned into quite the little man! In July we also went up to Washington to visit family and have Isaac's blessing. He looked so sweet in his outfit and it was so special to have all our family there to bless him. It was so hot that day with no AC and poor Isaac got super hot in his outfit.

We were able to stay at Brent's sister's farm! They just bought the place and it is amazing. All of Isaac's cousins were so sweet with Isaac. It made me really excited to have multiple children! They would watch and entertain him whenever! Brent taught me some spanish children songs to sing to Isaac and Adele really caught on to them. It was amazing how fast she learned the words and proceeded to teach others and sing to Isaac. Both videos are kind of weird, but these are the songs!

 Brent's parents have a boat and we got to go shrimping and crabbing with them. It is so beautiful to be out on the ocean! Isaac did very good too, even napping on the boat! Also, I grew to like prawns. I've decided the only reason I didn't like seafood was because I'd didn't have enough exposure as a child. It makes such a big difference when you have it fresh, too!

I have fallen in love with Washington, especially the area where Brent's family lives. People have warned me that if I lived there I'd get very sick of the rain, but I will risk it for the beautiful lakes and trees! 

My Birth Story (or is it Isaacs?)

I have debated posting about Isaacs birth for several weeks now. After all, it's a very personal thing, and who wants to read about it anyway? But I remember being pregnant and scared because of all the horror stories telling me that labor was just a necessary evil when getting a baby. I remember not trusting my body and reading hundreds of books and articles to help myself feel secure. But there was so much negative stories out there that I wanted to share mine, because I believe birth is pretty freaking incredible.

It was week 39 and I was already dilated to a 3 and 70% effaced. My doctor was very sure the baby would come early, and I was so ready! Fast-forward to week 42 and still no baby. Really, doctors should never tell a woman that her baby is coming early. It's a bad idea. Because I was late I received another ultrasound. It showed us that I had lots of amniotic fluid, (more than typical) and Baby was going to be 9 pounds, give or take 26 ounces. Psh. That is one big margin and I was pretty annoyed at that. I was measuring at a 43 when I was supposed to be at 37 so...we figured it had to be somewhat large. Because of this and the fact that I was late, my doctor decided to induce me.

I kept a journal during pregnancy so I can remember what happened when, who said what, how big I got etc. The day before I was scheduled to be induced, I sat down at the computer in tears, and managed to write about my feelings.

Today is thursday, the day before the induction and I feel so hopeless. I feel like my body has failed me, and I feel robbed of this whole experience. I so wanted to go into labor and send the exciting message to Brent at school letting him know that “it’s time!”. I wanted to labor at home, comfortable and firm until it was time to go to the hospital. I wanted to feel what it was like to go into labor on my own. And now I feel very robbed of that. And so weirded out that I have my baby scheduled to come into this life. It’s weird to think that tonight is the last night of just Brent and me. The last night before our roles in life are added to and changed. I’m worried about the induction. Mostly that I will end up getting so many drugs pumped into me and so many interventions that it will be one big medical fiasco until the baby comes out. I don’t want to be forced into things. But, I guess this is the way it’s going to be. I need to remember that I get my sweet little baby out of all of this. There is a happy ending! I just hope everything goes okay and baby is safe and healthy. I worry so much if the baby will be okay. I have felt its constant companionship in my belly for so long, its little kicks and moves that it feels so safe inside me right now. I’m scared to bring it out and maybe find out that there was something wrong all this time, that I didn’t grow baby like I was supposed to.

Depressing right? I was kind of a mess. So there is the prelude, but here is Isaac's birth story.

The night before the induction I actually slept really well and was surprised when my alarm went off at 5am. It still hadn’t hit me that I was having a baby. I couldn't believe that soon I would hold my baby and FINALLY find out the gender. We drove to the hospital, parked, and walked right in. I was so grateful that the maternity ward was basically empty so we got a room right away. I was immediately told to change into a gown and then was given an IV. A nurse asked me a bunch of questions while they prepped me. I was worried she’d be my nurse for the day because she wasn’t very nice but the shift changed at 7am.  I got a nurse named Rosemary (Rosa) and she was amazing! So helpful and she immediately hooked up to the pitocin and gave me a huge hug, telling me today would be awesome and she couldn’t wait to help me.

They started me off at the lowest dose and not much happened. I had 4 contractions during ten minutes. It was really fun to watch my contractions on the screen, it entertained Brent and I all day. Nothing happened so she pushed my dose higher. Still nothing for HOURS. Brent and I talked, laughed, watched March Madness and marveled at what was happening. But mostly we were pretty bored. Birth is always depicted as so excited and crazy, but really, it's a whole lot of waiting around uncomfortably.

Rosa checked me hours later and I hadn’t dilated past a 3.5 but was more effaced. She moved my dose up even more. Now the contractions were more noticeable, but still pretty enjoyable. They were just like Braxton Hicks with more of a bite to them. We even watched most of Despicable Me 2 on my laptop (Brent feel asleep during it, he was one tired dude).  At 1 or 2 pm my doctor came in to see me. I was a 4 and effaced much more.

We decided things weren’t progressing super fast on the pitocin so she would break my water. I was really nervous! It was a strange experience but not painful, and I progressed to a 6 in 20 minutes. The contractions were much more serious now. I had to concentrate with each one and they became stronger and stronger. Soon, they were hard to handle. But, they were manageable, and I was thinking hey, I can do this! Rosa came in and said that this was as strong as my contractions would get so I contemplated going natural. After 40 mins of contractions only minutes apart, I became exhausted. The pitocin never gave me good breaks between my contractions, just a lessoned pain to a heightened one. I hadn’t been allowed to eat breakfast and the contractions coming one after another really wore me out. I was having a hard time telling Brent what I wanted him to help with during a contraction. They only thing I knew was I HAD to be holding his hand at all times. 

Soon, I couldn’t do it any longer and called for the anesthesiologist. He couldn’t come for 15-20 mins and that was a LONG time to wait. They kicked Brent out for it. It was pretty scary and hurt a lot. I held onto Rosa like crazy. He had a hard time getting it in and it was off center to my left side a few times. Finally he was done and Brent was let back in. I’m really glad he didn’t see the epidural being done, I think it would have freaked him out. 

From then on out it was much easier to do labor. Brent and I watched my contractions (I could still feel the pressure/tightness) but the pain was pretty much gone. It was a great epidural, I could easily move my legs and feel my body pretty well. Soon, each contraction came on so strong I could really feel them, even with the epidural. Around 7pm Rosa checked me and I had dilated to a 9.5 and baby’s head was super low!! She said it was time to push and I was pretty shocked. After sitting around all day things were finally going to come to an end. 

She called my doctor who was at home (not on call that night) but she still decided to come deliver my baby. While she drove to the hospital (she lived a half hour away), we waited. Rosa’s shift was over and she had to go home. I was so sad to see her leave. Fortunately, my new nurse Kirstie was awesome as well and more business like. Turns out I really needed that personality trait for pushing. She set up everything for labor and then we did some practice pushing. Pushing was hard, and somewhat awkward. Things quickly got pretty serious with pushing and I was feeling lots of pressure. 

During each contraction I would do 3 rounds of pushing for 8 seconds. The first push I could do really well, but by the last one I was out of breath and tired. I even started coughing a lot and having a hard time breathing at the beginning. Soon my doctor came and took over. Tons of people came into the room (nurses and the pediatrician) and I didn’t even care. I honestly didn’t care at that point about anything. My body was just a tool I was using and that was it. Things got really serious for awhile and soon I couldn’t open my eyes, I just had to concentrate on breathing, both during contractions and after because I was getting very light-headed. 

I heard them say the head was coming and soon they were shouting at me to "keep it up", "push harder", and "just a little longer". It was like my own personal cheerleading squad. Brent was making lots of comments like, "woah", "wow", "there’s the head!" "Good job honey you’re doing great". Soon though he grew quiet and I looked up and he looked sick. He excused himself and went to sit down on the couch for a few pushes, saying he was light-headed. Soon he was back and pushing got even harder. It was an out-of-my-body experience for me. I couldn't believe what I was doing. My mind was just marveling as my body took over. I felt so powerful!

Then, with a couple more impossible pushes, he was out! They stuck him on my belly and Brent called out “It’s a boy!”. I touched my baby for the first time and marveled at how perfectly soft his skin was. I couldn't believe how big he was, and that he had actually just been inside me! Brent hugged me, crying hard and telling me how much he loved me. That moment bonded me to my husband like never before.

My moment with my baby was cut short because the doctors were worried and didn’t even let Brent cut the cord, saying they needed to see him right away. They cut the cord fast and soon baby was over in the corner on a warming table with 3 doctors working on him. The first thing I noticed was I hadn’t heard him cry yet, and I asked “Why isn’t he crying? Is he okay?” They wouldn’t answer me but kept working. Brent left my side to go watch baby and I felt like my whole world was about to end. I couldn’t bear it if I lost my baby now, not after seeing him, touching him, and wanting him. Man, I wanted him, more than anything I have ever wanted in my life.

I prayed heavily with Heavenly Father to let him be okay. Brent grabbed his oil and asked the doctor if he could say some ‘words’ over the baby and gave him a blessing. I didn’t get to hear most of it because Brent was quiet and my doctor was talking to the nurse as they hurried to stitch me up, but I remember Brent asking for Heavenly Father to get our baby safely to us. I was so proud and grateful in that moment that I had a husband who honored and used his priesthood! Looking back, this moment really touches me. The first time Isaac was touched by his father was through a priesthood blessing. What an incredible example and memory for Isaac as he grows up.

My whole body was so tense in those few minutes of chaos. There were doctors and nurses shouting so many things but all I could hear was the silence of my baby. Finally Isaac cried and I felt like a dam opened up inside my chest as I sobbed in relief. They brought him over and I was able to hold him. The nurses were so great and took a picture of our new little family and I marveled over his perfect face for a few minutes before they took him away to the nursery, Brent going with him.

It was an incredible day, and it did work out in the end. I was so worried, but it turns out things will happen the way they're supposed to. I now have a healthy, happy, sweet boy who is doing so well! I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mom, I know so many women are unable to experience what I experienced. Isaac is doing great, and I am so happy to be a mom to a little boy! He is growing so fast!

My sister-in-law asked me if I would have done anything different, and I truthfully didn't know how to answer that question. Yes, things could have gone differently, but I like the way they happened, the good and the bad. So I think that my answer is no, I wouldn't change a thing.

Isaac Brent Froberg, 9 pounds 11 ounces, 21.5 inches, biggest baby in the hospital that weekend, Momma's nose and eyes, Daddy's complexion and winked forehead and our last name. Feels pretty good!

Garin Regional Park

There is nothing more that Brent and I love than exploring a new place. Especially when it happens to be really close to home. This gem is only a 10 minute drive from us and we're in heaven. In Hayward, you have the valley then the hills. The hills are were the rich people live. We do not live on the hills therefore. But, if you drive into them, you come across this park which has over 20 miles of trails in it. It is a paradise in a busy busy city. 

 It's hard to look at pictures of me pregnant now. I don't know if it's just the angle, but I swear I look bigger than I am.

There are some amazing old trees (this one is huge, Brent climbed out on the lower branches easily). 

Even though California is expensive and a lot of weirdos live here, it does have some pretty amazing things to do!

Sub Life

Life has a way of being crazy hectic and overwhelming while going really slowly at the same time. I feel like this time before baby really follows that rule. Something that has helped me pass the weeks is my new job.

I have had a great time becoming a substitute teacher for the past month. I say great, because it's not happy, it's not easy, and it's not fun. But it's great. Great for my wallet, my learning and growth, and for perspective.

The school district I work for is extremely hard. Every school has some really messed up kids from messed up homes. It shocks me every day the stuff I hear and experience. Kids who only have chocolate milk and rice krispies packed for lunch, 5th graders who cannot read, kids who are in 3rd grade but their parents are younger than I am, boys who treat me like scum with such a familiarity that you know, just KNOW, they see it at home towards their mothers and much more.

People teased me, especially when I moved to California, that I wouldn't be prepared for life here and I was so sheltered and fragile. Guess what, I was! And I am 120% grateful for it. I don't see how being exposed to these kind of things would 'improve' me. If anything, they have just made me more grateful for the childhood I experienced and that I didn't have to deal with the kinds of things these kids do.

Within all the harshness I see in the schools, there is some greatness though. Being pregnant makes kids look at you as a 'mother' figure and they treat you that way! It is crazy how much the girls attach themselves to me, commenting on my hair, my eyes, my clothes, my nails, and most of all my baby. I should start a list of the names all the girls come up with for my baby. What makes kids, and people for that matter, so drawn towards babies? Why does a big belly somehow allow people to cross a fence and feel comfortable around you? It's like magic how people talk to me now all because of this big belly and the treasure inside it.

Today was a hard day. I had to turn down a sub job for my favorite class (one that was actually enjoyable to be in) because I had offered to watch a boy for a lady in our ward. I was so angry I was seeing flames. I'm watching this boy for free because his mother is going to school and wasn't responsible enough to find him child-care in time. I growled, cried, and pouted around the house, angry at the situation, the money I was losing, letting the teacher down who now needed to teach while sick, the time I'd need to spend with this kid, etc.

Luckily, Brent came home and set me straight. Sometimes I just need a good kick in the rear to remind myself what's really important. He listened to my stream of agitation and then wisely said, "It's good to do service. With greater sacrifice comes greater blessings." And he's right! No matter the situation, I am able to help someone out and be their blessing for the day, which is worth it. It turned out fine anyways, and I am grateful for the opportunity of serving others, even when it comes at great personal cost. Service is very rarely easy and without sacrifice, and sometimes I forget that.

A month of Learning

You know that moment when you graduate, finish College, walk out with that degree and think, "Yes, I finally finished learning, now onto life." Yeah, I just rolled my eyes over that statement too. Funny how I thought that at the time though.

I feel like I am now earning three Master degrees: California Survival, Pregnancy and Mother Studies, and What to do with Life and its curve-balls. Throw in minors in Nannying, Marriage, Cars, etc.

We have enjoyed living in California for the most part. It is very new and different for us, which always takes awhile to get used to. There are a lot of pros and a lot of cons, the cons just happen to be more prominent.

One con is driving in California. People aren't joking about traffic. We do not go out driving for 4-5 hours of the day. Not just avoid, but we DO NOT go into the craziness. There are a lot of really really bad and aggressive drivers here and when the two mix it can be pretty scary.

We broke our rule of not going out during traffic two weeks ago when we took a friend to the airport. On our way home, traffic was as thick as frozen molasses. Our lane suddenly slowed down and we complied, talking back and forth about random things. Then Brent looks up and says, "Please don't hit us, don't hit us, don't hit us!" I had a second to tense before we were slammed into. Out tumbled our radio system and glass shattered all over the backseat.

The car that hit us made its way over to the side. We tried. A horrible grinding sound resulted and we barely managed to make the car move the two-lanes over to the shoulder (all while cars were zooming past, not letting us switch lanes to get over. I wasn't joking when I said California drivers are crazy and mean!) I got out of the car and forced myself to look at the damage on our only car. We exchanged information with the lady as the State Tow service showed up to haul us off the freeway. Our car wouldn't drive, and we had to figure out how to get an expensive tow truck to take us the 1 mile left to our apartment. Heavenly Father was watching out for us that night in more ways then making sure we weren't injured. The nice tow-man explained to us that he could get fired and in a lot of trouble if he hauled us home (his job was just to drop us off the freeway) but if we waited ten minutes his shift would be over and he'd take us home for free.

It was a small but huge blessing for us. We spent the next few days in a whirlwind talking to insurance companies, me freaking out over baby's health, and figuring out what to do without a car. The lady's insurance covered a rental thank heavens and so I was able to go to doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, and work!

Brent has spent the last week slaving over the computer looking at used cars for us to buy. After a lot of stress and hard work Brent found us a car! We were able to buy it, and I hope that it turns out to be a good car for us.

Pregnancy has been good so far. Brent and I joke that I could get a job as a surrogate mother after this because I have such easy pregnancies. I may not get sick, but I'm definitely feeling uncomfortable now. My belly has expanded like crazy and my belly button now has a mind of its own. I constantly find myself looking down and saying, "Well, huh, hmm, what's going on here?"

 This is a very accurate picture of what I look like when trying to get out of bed. 

And this is how my days and nights go (why??? it's 3am...why??)

All in all I'm loving being a 'mom' but am feeling very unprepared for all the things I should know. Books anyone? Currently I can only tell you how I will be feeding my child and how I can emotionally prepare myself for labor. There are a lot of gaps to fill.